A little more than 15 minutes...

That's how much time I've given myself before I move on to IB Calculus.

Well, i've been quite the busy be i must say. I've landed the lead in the school production of Rent, Deadlines are closing in in a stringendo-like fashion, and my body is beginning to act on its own (e.g. "i think i'll take a nap and finish my homework later" my body: "that's what you think...")

but all in it's going well, but i have a nagging problem.

I don't know how to say this, but my issues with purity have been constant: purity in my actions, purity in my thoughts, and purity in my character. I know what needs to be done, but i feel like i'm such a slacker and i'm not getting anywhere in life when i'm not doing what i know God expects of me.

But a lot of things that keep me going is the daily reading of the bible. When i don't read my bible, my character is very ungodly. I loosen the reins on my tongue, my actions aren't necessarily respectful, and it becomes a lot harder to forgive others and get over the little things that people do. I know that there is definitely a problem, as i have been having trouble "doing the hard things" that God asks of me. I don't know what was going on with me that i would allow my character to fall to the wayside, and i know especially that I have to be out of my mind to let my relationship with God grow even the slightest bit distant. However, the same issues have risen time and time again, and whether or not I can withstand the constant temptation is my relationship with God. Anyone who knows me knows that i'm very off: I'm up, i'm down, i am extremely personable, i'm not afraid to alienate someone (sometimes i do it without meaning to, in fact) but i almost never act the same two days in a row, and it may be difficult having me as a friend (which must be why I like hanging around odd people.)

However, what does that do to my standing as an ambassador for Christ? what happens when I let character go just, "ehh..." ? Well, for starters, the first thing to go is my work ethic. I waste time, allowing myself to roam facebook and other sites (some of which i DEFINITELY shouldn't be on) and then saying "oh my gosh, i can't do all of this homework! it's too much!" and end up not doing nearly any of it. Secondly, my patience thins. I become moody, extending very little forgiveness to my families, and isolating myself from others who may sincerely need my attention. Lastly, i start ignoring God's Spirit in me. It becomes harder to tell what he is saying as i let character and my communication with Him fall to the way side.

My buzzer just went off, so it's time for me to get back to work, but i want to leave with a good verse. Romans 12:9 offers sound wisdom, which i find to be better for my health and my character, especially when i read the bible everyday:

"Don't pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good." -Romans 12:9, NLT