The voice of God... How can one discern that?

Ignorance is bliss, and it is that bliss that we come to loathe after the presentation of information which we may find either disturbing, or liberating. I say this with the troubled realization that, maybe, my two spirits are, once again, at odds.

I apologized for not posting anything the last two days. Those of you who have seen me these last couple of days know how my school life has been, so it cannot be said that this is necessarily me being lazy. However, while all the craziness begins to wind down, i will do what i can to stay fairly consistent in my commitment to all of you to blog faithfully on this website.

First, a bomb shell: i am considering going to Haiti during the summer. It's not a definite: my mom simply asked what i thought about it while were heading home two days ago, and i've just been keeping it in the back of my mind since then.

As you know, my mom has indeed recently flown to Haiti in order to help with the relief effort. During that time, I anxiously awaited her return because of the fear that i had for her safety. in my mind, though my heart goes out to the victims of the first of a series of devastating quakes, is that i would never want to go to a place such as Haiti. It isn't that i don't feel anything, but that i wouldn't survive there for so many reasons.

The government could seize my passport, and i wouldn't be able to leave.

The sight of the damage in Port-au-Prince would incapacitate me.

I don't speak Creole.

I don't know the first thing about surviving in another country.


In spite of all this, however, i haven't totally ruled out the possibility of flying out there. Today, when my mom picked me up from school, i brought up the subject, and she said that it there may be a chance that i would be able to go with my favorite cousin, Nastacia. She said, since one of my personal career goals was to have a masters in Investigative Reporting, i could be a cameraman and compile a sort of documentary of what i witness.

But, i have been seriously considering flying to Haiti before my mom brought up the other possibility. To be honest, i have been wondering if God himself has been leading me to do this. All those things that I am afraid of; none of them have been enough for me to say "No", and the more i contemplate it, the more i wish for direction in that area from God.

But maybe he already is?

How can one tell when God is speaking to them on a certain subject matter? I've come to believe that he speaks in different ways: through the bible, through logic, through other people, through dreams, it seems to be different ALL the time. How, then? How can we know what is the right thing to do?

Today, i was explaining to one of my friends so details about the bible in regards to homosexuality. Like myself, he is seeking freedom from it, and I very pleased with the progress he has made. When we were talking about articles i had read about homosexuality, i began surfing for articles about homosexuality and the bible. I had come across and article that so boldly read, "What the bible says- And Doesn't say- about homosexuality."

When i clicked on the link, i was referred to this article, which i will post on this blog. It made me somewhat perplexed.

http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexuality-bible-gay-christian

Now, as some of you may have noted, Rev. White's a great rhetorician, and his logic does have a point of validity. However, i feel like there needs to be a sort of response from some of the people who follow this blog on the site, and the email at home. I feel like this is a test from God, but i cannot tell what for? Is he telling me that, just maybe, my happiness lies in a life long relationship with another man, as it has been suggested by various colleagues and close friends who aren't exactly christian? Or is he checking to see if my faith is strong enough to withstand this otherwise perceived trial or crises of faith?

Please comment either here, on my email, or Facebook. Make sure you read the article before you answer, because i need to know that your understanding includes a response to this article. Any resources that you have for me, i am ready and willing to examine, digest, and give my response on.

Oh, and one more thing: how do each of you, those of you who "hear" God speaking to you, know that it is him?