Mash-up-- Somebody To Love/Keep Holding On

Wouldn't that make a great combination? It certainly would an appropriate mix for what I am thinking of tonight. As the clock reads Quarter past the One, i once again find myself up at the wee hours [although hopefully i'll just got bed earlier than the night before] contemplating my life. No IB tests in the morning, and, from my understanding, tomorrow is going to be a pretty easy day.

So yes, the title? I suppose, unless you are a rock buff both old and (fairly) new, you may not know the music. It's a combination of Queen and Avril Lavenge (dunno how to spell her name, unfortunately), The lyrics can be found on metro lyrics, though it isn't as if you didn't already know that, right?

The reason i thought of those two songs is because of my recent evaluations of myself. As things are now, I am not the person i want to be. As the Quote read on the board of Freshmen Honors' English:

With every day, and from both sides of my intelligence, the moral and the intellectual, I thus drew steadily nearer to the truth, by whose partial discovery I have been doomed to such a dreadful shipwreck: that man is not truly one, but truly two.

I myself desire two different things. Even now, i find myself telling the world "I'm not getting married! I'm not getting into any sort of relationships!" Yet silently, i still picture a future mate, and isn't something that i hate, though, because i am not attracted to women, it causes an issue. For now, the only image i have is of him holding our child, parenting him/her. Asking me for help. And me giving him that help.

But he's nowhere to be found. I haven't run into him yet, haven't seen him. Haven't been able to answer the question "What are you going to do once you meet him? If you ever meet him? If you NEVER meet him?" That christian man that i only see in my daydreams, which i only condemn now because i am constantly reminded of those verses. In all honesty, it should be my shipwreck.

However, life doesn't skip a beat, and neither has my faith in God. This issue i have wrestled with and wrestled with, but i have recently simply tagged out and let God take care of this. Even today, my entire being has been coping with this age old struggle quite well. God has given me peace in this storm.

So i suppose my desire for that man that i cannot see, and that faith which i cannot leave, has prompted me to have such bizarre, custom-tailored peace from God, and that mash-up came to mind.