Love and Hope....and the Disciplining of Thoughts.

Hello, all!

I realize it has been a bit of a while, not writing here with you, but I have been wrestling with a matter of the soul and God. (When am I not, right?)

My manners have somewhat regressed of late. I have come across behaviors and opinions of others and myself that I have not seen since middle school. In middle school. I didn't know God. Not as I know him now, or even four years ago. To see myself to regard others even remotely as i did before then, makes me worry. I suppose it is because of the way I've been looking at God a lot. I have resurrected some of my old resentment for Christians. I'm just taking it out on them.That is very childish of me.

But all is not lost. With every ebb, there is a flow. I have felt a pressing around me--that's the odd thing about it. When a constant ebbs away, it starts internally, then makes its way into the outside world, and it from the outside world that I noticed it flows back from the outside to, affecting, persistent, making its way back into my good graces, arousing feelings an sentiments that I thought time had laid to rest.

Feelings of genuine concern have crossed my path once more. I comforted a friend who was so frustrated with Christianity, and was able to quiet her cries, and even prayed for her, when I was reluctant to pray for myself. It was therapeutic for myself, as well.

It's odd... some of my most helpful moments were when I believed in one thing: the person in front of me needs to know that life gets better. The person in front of me needs to know that my hands are open, but so are my shoulders and my ears and eyes and heart and mind. I had a clear head because I had a clear objective. That doesn't happen naturally. My thoughts did, and do, need a form of discipline. Now with that word, I must clarify that I'm not talking about the cutting of imagination, or the flights of fancy, but, when dealing with people, and myself, I must have a hope in my actions. I must have a joy in my thoughts. I must believe in the possibilities of Love.